I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
