On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
