Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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