Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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