Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
