Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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