He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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