I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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