Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
