My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
