yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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