btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
