How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize