i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
