you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
