Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I just cut my nipple shaving
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
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Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
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Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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