1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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