he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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