there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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