You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
