I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
