Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
