So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Found the puke drawer
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
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