I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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