Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
