he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Randomize
