using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
