I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
