Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
