he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
