You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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