The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
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