I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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