i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
