I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
