is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
