the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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