We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
