question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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