Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I have already put on my inside pants.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize