My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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