Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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