First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
