why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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