pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize