I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
