I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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