she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
she peed on how many people?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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