He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
