What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize