If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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