actually, I'm a sock model
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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