Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Houston, we have a squirter
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
When did we convert life to cartoon?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
