i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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