I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
