it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
