Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
