There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
