I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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