remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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