did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
