Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
