TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
What a dumb baby whore.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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