Small penises have feelings too.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
porn star boner night. come get it.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
